It has been a really tough couple of weeks for us here. Our breastfeeding issues continued and then Lucas and I both had the dreaded gastro that Brett and Charlotte had last weekend. After a couple of horrible nights of zero sleep and Lucas absolutely destroying my good (as well as the bad) nipple, something had to give... and unfortuntely at this stage it was the breastfeeding itself. I have not made the decision lightly, and am not 100% happy with it. But we were left with little choice. I was beginning to resent Lucas for the pain it was causing, and dreaded every time he woke up for a feed. It was starting to affect my bonding with him. This is the first photo taken of us cuddling up together, since he was born.The only consolation is that I am now expressing milk every 3 hours around the clock and giving it to our little man, so he is still getting the breastmilk, just not directly from me. Who knows, maybe he might get back on the boob down the track, but either way I am going to try my hardest to give him my milk for as long as possible.... and try and forgive myself in the meantime.
After all the feeding hassles I had with Charlotte, I was really hoping that it would be different with Lucas. Unfortunately this hasn't been the case, but I did get the longed-for birth, and he is perfect in everyway. I just don't want to jeopardise my bonding with him, nor my mental health any longer... So think of me at 3am when I am sitting connected to a breast pump machine like a cow... Moo...
Cass xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment